Can I Trust You Here?
“I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.” Psalm 143:5
Only a few short weeks after talking about moving, Jackson and I found ourselves packing up our Uhaul in a snowstorm and preparing for our drive from Colorado to Tennessee. We had just crossed over the one year mark in our marriage and after a lot of reflection and prayer, we felt God calling us into a new season.
Our future in Tennessee was uncertain. Jackson had a new job secured that we were both thrilled about, but other than that, we had no idea what to expect. We were excited and anticipated God’s provision, but we couldn’t focus on what we didn’t know because we didn’t know a lot.
We didn’t know anyone in Tennessee. We had to end our lease early in Colorado, so we lost a significant amount of money to our landlord. We signed a new lease in Tennessee without ever seeing where we would be living. We had no idea where we would go to church, who we would spend time with, or if we would even like Tennessee. We never dreamt about living in Nashville, it was never even on our radar. But we chose to trust God based on who we knew Him to be.
We knew God had provided for us before, so we knew He could do it again. We had begun accumulating a list of ways God had showed up for us in our lives. In moments of uncertainty, instead of focusing on the questions we had about the future, we focused on the answers we found in who God is.
When we arrived in Tennessee, we were abruptly confronted with our lack of preparation. We moved across the country for the second time, this time with as little as possible. The only furniture we brought with us was our mattress and bed frame from Colorado. Our first few weeks in Tennessee we spent eating dinners in our camping chairs in our empty living room.
I was stuck with the title of the “new girl” again, and we were back to the awkward ritual of visiting churches. Jackson loved his new job, but I was uncertain of how to fill my days, so I unpacked boxes alone as we attempted to settle into this unknown place. Our first summer in Tennessee was filled with meeting new people, exploring a state we knew nothing about, and asking God why He brought us here.
Even though we felt His call strongly in our spirits, we still didn’t understand it fully. We still don’t.
There were times when we were lonely, times when we longed to be around the community we had that really knew us. We felt sad we had to leave behind what we had taken a year to invest in in Colorado, and often wondered if that year had been wasted. It was easy to get caught up in our doubts, fears, and questions.
But we were content. How? We remembered. We remembered who God was, and we knew He was the same God in every place we lived. We remembered our list of how God had shown up for us before, and we clung to the certainty that He would show up for us again and again and again. Instead of focusing on the feelings of uncertainty and becoming overwhelmed,
we just sat back ready to watch God do what He had done before.
If you are feeling overwhelmed with an uncertain future today, can I urge you to take a note from David and recall what God has already done for you? We all have our own stories of how God has delivered us, how He has provided, how He has healed and saved. If you don’t know where to start, think about His first invitation to you through His Son Jesus. When we forget who He is, we feel lost, confused, helpless, or overwhelmed. When we remember, we can wait in faithful anticipation for God to be God.
Make a list of ways God has been faithful in your life.
Is there an area in your life where you don’t feel like you can trust him?
Look back over your list, and write out personal statements like “I can trust you here because you have (Fill in the blank) last year.”
Hey God, thank you for being a trustworthy God who always stays the same, even when things around us are changing. Holy Spirit, help us to meditate and focus on the ways God has been faithful to us throughout our day. When doubts or anxiety start to creep in, bring to mind ways God has shown up for us in the past, and help us to see how He is a promise keeper who will continue to show up for us in the future. Amen.