There have been times when my, "Yes Lord," has been easy. Marry Jackson Wilcox? Yes Lord! Take a new exciting opportunity? Yes Lord! Go encourage a friend over coffee? Yes Lord!
When it becomes more difficult, is when the question is a foggy vision of the future, when the direction is unclear, and the path is pointing straight up a mountain and I don't see the top and there's no one standing beside me saying, "It's possible, I've done it before."
Then my "Yes Lord" becomes a "Hey Lord, are you sure about this?" as if He's pointing me down a path that leads into a dark, scary forest in a fairytale because honestly that's how it feels.
When my husband and I sat lonely and unsure of the future in our little Colorado condo tucked high up in the mountains, we felt God calling us to leave.
But, as we stepped out saying, "Yes Lord," I felt a wave of uncertainty hit me every morning.
When friends and family asked me, "Are you sure?" I found my mouth proclaiming the goodness of God, His faithfulness, how strongly and confidently He was leading us out of the mountains and to a place we had never even visited.
In my mind, my "Yes Lord" tumbled around with, "We are going to fail," "Why do we think we can do this?" "Who are we to say God spoke to us?" "How do we even know it's God?"
It didn't get easier fast. There were moments of certainty, there were moments filled with faith and joy and assurance that God is who He says He is. And there were moments filled with doubt.
There were moments where I got lost in Nashville, feeling hopeless, afraid and lonely. There were moments of great frustration trying to find friends and a church, and learning that community doesn't come quickly but takes hard work and big investments. There were moments of hopelessness as we wondered what life looked like for us in a new city, with no family, no friends, and only a promise from God that we at times doubted was even real.
I was filled with doubt. Doubting myself and my choices, doubting my ability to hear God, and doubting who God was.
I kept saying, "Yes Lord," even when it was messy, scary, and said with a shaky voice and shaky faith.
My prayer is to continue to say, "Yes Lord," even when it's filled with doubt and uncertainty.
My "Yes Lord" has only ever allowed God to take a simple, obedient step of faith and to move in miraculous ways in my life.
My "Yes Lord" has brought greater opportunities, an increase in abundance, in faith, in hope, and ultimately God has used our "Yes" to refine our relationship with Him and shape our lives to be more full of His glory.
So, even when we are afraid, we'll keep saying yes. Even when we can't see what comes after the "Yes," we'll say it, we'll take the next, faithful step even if it feels a little shaky, a little scary, a little uncertain, because God doesn't lie and He will always be faithful to use our "Yes."
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