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  • Writer's pictureMrsMollyWilcox

You don't have to want what other people want for you

a letter to my past self #compelwritingchallenge

You’ve spent way too much time trying to want what other people want for you. You’re trying to make your path look like their path, but it isn’t. Your path is yours, and what makes it unique is simply that it’s you on it. 

Trying to do what other people want for you, whether it's out of people pleasing or social obligation, will only confuse you. You spend too much time and too much energy trying to make sure everyone around you is happy. You're too concerned about what other people think of you, and the thought that consumes you the most is "what if I disappoint them?"

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...

You're going to disappoint people. People are going to have opinions, and a lot of the time, they have the very best intentions.

Over a cup of coffee they will give you advice and tell you what they want for you, because they think they're offering you the very best advice and telling you things like when it's a good time to "settle down," when you should or shouldn't move, when it's ok to quit a job, and when it's ok to let a friendship fade away.

Sometimes, you are going to want something different than what other people want for you.

You have gifts and talents, a unique personality, and you have desires and you don’t need to spend your life fighting against them. I am giving you permission to want things in life, even if they are unexpected or scary or different than what the people around you want for you.

Someday, you’ll be so bold you’ll even write sticky notes of the desires you have and stick them on your mirror so you can declare those things over yourself and prophesy your desires when they come from God.

Desires aren’t wrong. They aren’t bad, and they’re especially not wrong when they don’t match the desires other people have for you.

I don’t care if it’s your relationship status, your career, or where you live, you can have desires that are uniquely yours.

You don’t have to want what other people want for you.

I'm not saying you can do whatever you want. Don't believe the lie that you will always have good desires, and let your desires lead your life. Instead, take them all to the Father.

Lay your desires out before Him with open hands and a heart of surrender. Watch what He does! Some of your desires are from Him, and He put those things on your heart because He has a specific plan for you and for your life, and

when you lean into that, that's when you feel the most like who God originally designed you to be.

I'll warn you now, it's going to surprise you a little bit, and it will surprise the people around you too. But it's a good, holy thing.

Let your desires come into alignment with God's desires for your life. Don't look to what other people want for you. Don't even simply trust every desire you have. Go to God every time and sit at His feet and wait, and listen, and let Him plant desires in you. Tell Him the desires you have, and entrust them to Him.

You will desire some crazy things, some unexpected things, some things will feel too soon or too late, and you will disappoint some people along the way when you move to unexpected places, take chances, and ultimately obey the Spirit of God.

Remember, you are the only one who hears the desires God is speaking over you in the secret place.

I know it’s hard, but keep it in perspective. You might have to disappoint someone when you’re running full heartedly after God, but you have to chase after what He wants for your life, and know that if you didn’t you’d only disappoint yourself in the end. 

Don't feel like you have to pretend to want what other people want for you. Don't focus on pleasing other people, focus on pleasing God.


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